Song of Songs 1-8

Song of Songs is a book of love, marriage and sex. This book was written by King Solomon as he writes of the intimacy between himself as the bridegroom and his bride. In our society, we have condoned the movement from love to lust; getting instead of giving; and a general lack of commitment, hence our high divorce rates. There are themes in this book that discuss sex, love, commitment, beauty and problems. Sex is God’s gift to creation. God wants sex to be motivated by love and commitment, not lust; for mutual pleasure, not self-gratification. Love is a powerful expression of feeling and commitment that should not be manipulative or prematurely encouraged in a relationship. The basis of true love is commitment; where there is genuine love, you won’t find fear of deceit, manipulation, or exploitation. Marriage is the celebration of daily commitment to each other. There is a misconception about beauty that plagues our society; physically attractive by superficial standards. Personality and moral purity are so often overlooked; a shame that lasting beauty is denied and transient beauty embraced. Sometimes problems arise in relationships; over time, feelings of indifference and loneliness entered into Solomon’s relationship with his wife. During those times, love grew cold and barriers were raised; as what happens in many relationships. Through careful communication, lovers can be reconciled, commitment can be renewed and romance refreshed. It is important to take care of problems while they are still small and not allow walls to come between you and your partner. Using languages of love is important for encouraging and appreciating the person you love. Telling your partner you love them is important as well as showing it. Lover says, “How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves…Beloved says: ‘How handsome you are, my lover! Oh how charming!’”(1:15, 16)

“Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”(2:7) Feelings of love overpower your reason because feelings are not enough for a lasting relationship. This verse encourages us not to force romance where the love grows faster than the commitment needed to make love last. It’s important to patiently wait for feelings of love and commitment to develop together.

“All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves...I looked for him and I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves.”(3:2) The woman searched in the middle of the night for her love. When you love someone, you will do whatever it takes to ensure their safety and care for their needs at any cost.

“You are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon.”(4:15) Solomon’s bride was refreshing like a fountain. Do you refresh your significant other or do you complain, or focus on negativity and problems? Partners should continually work at refreshing each other by an encouraging word, and unexpected gift, a change of pace, a surprise note, or even having attention to timing to respect the other person’s needs. The rest of the world is not so refreshing; so being a haven for your partner is a great gift and way to keep your relationship healthy and growing.

“His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my lover, this my friend.”(5:16) The bride calls Solomon her friend. Can you call your significant other your best friend? In a healthy marriage or relationship, the lovers are great friends. Taking the time to develop a deep friendship is important before allowing feelings of love and passion to drive you into marriage too early. Being friends involves listening, sharing, and showing understanding for the other’s likes and dislikes. Friendship takes time, but it makes a love relationship much deeper and far more satisfying.

“But my own vineyard is mine to give; the thousand shekels are for you, O Solomon, and two hundred are for those who tend its fruit.”(8:12) Solomon’s bride willingly gave Solomon the fruit of her property. In a good marriage, there is no private property; there are no secrets. Everything should be shared between the partners. Devotion and commitment were the foundational components of this marriage and were the reasons that even through many trials; they honored each other. The faithfulness of our marital love should be a reflection of God’s perfect faithfulness to us.